While crossing the street yesterday there were two gentlemen on each side of me waiting as I crossed the crosswalk. In my 4 inch pumps, I tried to jog across so I didn’t hold them up. One guy yelled “Hurry! Hurry!” (He did say this jokingly, I might add.) To which I laughed & waved. He followed it up with, “You’re too pretty! I’d pick you up, not hit you!” I smiled. Then he pulled alongside me and said, “I bet you hear that all the time, don’t you?” I replied, honestly, “Actually, I don’t, but thank you very much!”
And this exchange got me thinking. Because I mean I try to look good for work and I consider myself a relatively attractive person, but why did that stranger’s nice words boost my confidence so much? Why do those words, from anyone, make me feel more worthy when I hear them? Especially from a man.
I recently shared a video on Facebook about a 2014 rape case in which a judge told a rape victim that if she’d only put her knees together she could have avoided the incident. That if only she’d lifted herself onto the sink, it wouldn’t have hurt so much.
I find myself in awe. Not only at the world, but also at myself. That I, as a rather feminist woman, still subconsciously consider myself less if I don’t have my hair perfect, outfit matching, and shoes in pristine condition. I find myself worried about what women on the Strip will say behind my back. I am overly concerned with the shit other people have to say about me.
It’s 2016. Why? Why aren’t there more women out there telling random women they work that dress? Why are there still men out there demanding to assert their dominance because they have a dick? And probably a small one, too.
“For mad I may be, but I will never be convenient.”
― Jennifer Donnelly,
Ladies, let’s stop this. Or better yet: HUMANS, let’s stop this.
Stop thinking we are anything but equal. Whether it’s because of our gender, hair color, eye color, or fucking skin color (don’t EVEN get me started on this one). I get disappointed in myself when I allow myself to feel less. Don’t you? What are you so fucking afraid of? That you will be vulnerable? WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
We are all vulnerable. We enter this world vulnerably and we will leave this world vulnerable. Heaven fucking forbid you actually allow yourself to be figuratively naked at some point in the middle.
You don’t need a guy to determine your worth. You don’t need a woman to evaluate your worth. You don’t need the church, your parents, your BOSS, that creepy drive-thru guy, or anyfuckingbody else to tell you how much YOU deserve out of this precious, PRECIOUS life we have. I refuse to sit and take your shit solely because I’m a female or you think you’re better than me.
Use your energy to lift someone up. Use your words to be kind. Let’s, COLLECTIVELY, make this world a nicer, happier, more lovable place.