It’s a weird thing to think about – how your childhood shapes so much of who you are today, in this. very. moment.

I guess I never really thought about it. Your parents are supposed to love you, and guide you, and support you, and a bunch of other stuff I’m unsure of. I just know that there were a lot of things for the most part that could’ve been better.

“I will no longer allow anyone to manipulate my mind and control my life in the name of love.”
― Miguel Ruiz

The quote above is from a book I’ve started twice and almost always stopped reading about the same time, both times. It’s a powerful book & one of those I’m not sure I was quite ready for. But it’s interesting that I brought it up to my therapist today and she said she typically recommends that book within the 4th or 5th session (this was our fourth) so maybe that means I’m ready.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. And these are a few of the agreements I’m working hard to disagree with:

I do not have to continue with the agreement that I have to cause a scene in order to be seen.

I do not have to continue with the agreement that love stems from causing pain in order to heal.

I do not have to continue with the agreement that I must disbelieve in myself because someone once made me believe I had to.

It’s time to end the contract I signed so long ago, without even realizing the repercussions of what it meant.