I’ve learned some things recently – some things I’ve had to learn, and relearn, and maybe learn a few more times over.

Grief is not linear. It has no agenda. It will prick you with its thorns when you least expect it. ESPECIALLY if you think you’ve “gotten over it” — whatever “it” may be.

And trust me…”it”…doesn’t fall into the traditional categories of things our society thinks we should grieve. Societal loss is conceptual. We all have our own realities of loss.

I’m learning you have to really really feel your feelings in order to heal. You can’t stuff them down and put on a happy fake it til you make it face forever.

Sure, that’s a comfortable place to stay. But it does you no favors. Eventually? Eventually. All the stuff you shoved down will rise to the surface and say “Hello! This is _____ from _____ welcome back!” and you will have to deal with it all at once.

Most of the time, at least for me, I’ve been taught (and learned) that your feelings are only to be felt in silence. Sayings like:
-Don’t make a big deal out of it.
-Don’t cry too much. If you cry, you’re weak.
–Suck it up; It’ll be fine tomorrow.

Not everything you’ve told yourself, been told, or heard someone else say is the truth about yourself.

And you don’t have to keep telling yourself these things. Not everything you’ve heard about yourself is truth. You (I) can stop believing these false agreements we made so long ago that drive our current direction & reality.

It is okay to start a new narrative.

But in order to do that?? You & I have got some work to do.

Grieve.
Heal.
Learn to be unapologetically you.