Just want to give a shoutout to everyone who reached out to me about my sad-elder-emo story post about being alone & needing support.

To clarify: I meant physically alone. Being a full-time caregiver for your parents (who you haven’t always had the best relationship with) & a full-time employee (with a semi-important role) is starting to weigh a bit heavier than it has before lately.

Now, let’s add a dash of BFE country bumpkin livin’, sprinkle some creepy bugs, more sprinkles of creepy animals, and a dollop of not really seeing any other humans besides your parents outside of once, maybe twice, a week — is a recipe for: not a great time. As a social butterfly who’d go into the office every day, play sports, hang out with friends, etc. regularly back home in Vegas — this is just hitting differently. The realization that I’ll be here longer than I originally intended is also deeply on my mind. Seeing the world from this contained bubble is an interesting social experiment as it relates to isolation. Not sure I’m a fan of said experiment, to be honest. Feels a little like ✨bullshit✨ Especially at this current moment in time: my dad’s health is seemingly declining & we are waiting on answers from the hospital.

I do have things to look forward to. I do have people who care about me and a couple events here in Kansas I’m excited about.

That said…………momentary happiness doesn’t always cut through the momentary sadness (or anger) as thoroughly as we need sometimes. It’s like trying to use a butter knife to cut up a well-done ribeye. Experiment results: Do not reattempt. (Also, please – for the love of all things holy – do not eat a ribeye well-done.) It’s alllllllll temporary. I will survive, I will be alright.

Highs and lows.
Peaks and valleys.
No, I don’t feel okay.
No, I do not feel supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
But I will again.

“I’m fine, totally fine. I don’t know why it’s coming out all loud and squeaky, ’cause really, I’m fine.”

Thank you again to everyone who checked in & offered words of encouragement, virtual hugs, and general outpouring of love.

My tribe is incredible. And I love you all very much. ❣️❤️‍🩹❤️